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Merlin Spoofs
Have you ever watched an episode of Merlin and suddenly had a flash of humor about writing a spoof? Why don't you write them out and paste them on this page as a script? This page has been started with a spoof of the beach scene in The Labyrinth of Gedref that resembles the Battle of Wits in The Princess Bride. Feel free to add your own! | ||||
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| Username | SmithsonianGirl | ||
| Scene/Episode | The Beach Scene from The Labyrinth of Gedref | ||
| Crossover with | The Princess Bride | ||
| Script | Arthur: Let him go. I will take your test but not until he's released. Anhora: That is not possible. Merlin is part of the test. Please sit. If you refuse the test, you will have failed and Camelot will be destroyed. Arthur: I thought I told you to stay at home. Let's get on with it. Anhora: There are two goblets before you. One of the goblets contains iocane powder, a poison that is tasteless, has no scent, and dissolves in any liquid. The other goblet contains a harmless liquid. All the liquid from both goblets must be drunk but each of you may only drink from a single goblet. Arthur: What kind of ridiculous test is that? What does that prove? Anhora: What it proves is for you to decide. If you pass the test, the curse will be lifted. Merlin: Let's think about this. What if I drink from my goblet first? Arthur: If it's poisoned, you'll die. Merlin: If it's not, you'll have to drink from yours and you die. There must be a way round it. Arthur: It's perfectly simple. One of us has to die. We have to find a way to determine which goblet has the poison. Then I'll drink it. Merlin: I will be the one to drink it. Arthur: This is my doing. I'm drinking it. Merlin: It's more important that you live. You're the future king. I'm just a servant. Arthur: This is no time to be a hero, Merlin. It really doesn't suit you. Merlin: What if I drink from mine first and if that's not poisoned, I will then drink yours. Arthur: He said each of us is only allowed to drink from a single goblet. I had no idea you were so keen to die for me. Merlin: Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself. Arthur: I'm glad you're here, Merlin. Merlin: I've got it! We pour all the liquid into one goblet and then we can be sure it's poisoned. Then all the liquid can be drunk, and from a single goblet. Arthur: You never cease to surprise me. You are a lot smarter than you look. Merlin: Is that actually a compliment? Arthur: (pointing behind Merlin) What’s that over there? (Pours all of the liquid into one goblet.) Merlin: No, I will drink it! Arthur: As if I'd let you. Merlin: You can't die, this isn't your destiny! Arthur: You’re right. (Drinks all of the contents of the goblet and smiles broadly, pleased with his ingeniousness.) Merlin: (shocked) How? Arthur: I’ve spent nearly five years building up immunity to iocane powder. Merlin: Let me guess, you’re a second coming of the man in black. Arthur: Nope, I’m the man in red! | ||
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| Username | Green_Storm | ||
| Scene/Episode | Valiant | ||
| Crossover with | A Knight's Tale | ||
| Script | Arthur: Merlin, it is my Lady Merlin: Oh Jesus, Arthur, you aim too high! Arthur: If there’s another way to aim I don’t know it. Gaius: Concentrate! Arthur: What shall I say to her? Merlin: Well I wouldn’t say there was nothing to be jealous of again! (Whispers in Arthur’s ear) * * * Morgana: Sir Hunter, you persist Arthur: Or maybe Angels have no names, only beautiful faces Valiant: And you are? Arthur: Well I am, um… Valiant: You’ve forgotten, or your name is Knight Umm. Arthur: Arthur, Vonpendragon from Camelot Valiant: Well I’d forget as well, what a mouthful. Your armour sir Arthur: What about it? Valiant: How stylish of you to joust in a metal bag, you’ll start a new trend if you win; everyone will go round wearing armour four sizes to large! And a shield, how quaint. Some of this poor country knights… little better than peasants. * * * Merlin: You’re good, you’re very good. My lords, my ladies… and everybody else here NOT sitting on a cushion. Today… today, you find yourselves equals, for you are all equally blessed; for I have the pride, the privilege, nay the pleasure, of introducing to you a knight sired by knights. A knight who can trace his linage back beyond the old religion! I first met him in a courtyard in Camelot, talking to his friends, asking their merriment for the knives he threw into boards on the backs of servants. Next he amazed me still further in the woods, when he saved an unhuman beauty from the would be ravishings of those dreadful hired bandits. In Ealdor, he spent a night on the floor, just to better understand the comfort… of a mattress! And so without further gilding the lily and with no more a do, I give to you, the seeker of the bulls eye, the protector of magical sidhe, the enforcer of our king Uther, the one, the only, Sir Arthur Vonpendragonnnn! (Crowd cheers madly) Merlin: Thank you! Thank you, I’ll be in the stocks all week! Gaius: Well that was different. Merlin: Well it’s time we celebrated our differences. Gaius: Just maybe not in public. Lancelot: You…! Merlin: Yes master Lancelot, I’m well aware a good mace session is on the way! | ||
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| Username | PowerfulCheesecake | ||
| Scene/Episode | When Merlin and The Great Dragon fight on Episode 13 "Le Morte D'Arther" | ||
| Crossover with | My own little remix of this fight! | ||
| Script | Merlin:You Knew This would happen! You had me trade my mother's life for Arther's The Great Dragon:You said you would do anything. Merlin:Do you know my mother will die? The Great Dragon:I knew the price would be a hevey one Merlin:But you sent me anyway The Great Dragon:We need Arther to live Merlin:I'm not one of you! The Great Dragon:We are both creatures of the fish. It is the sorce of your power. Merlin:What's that mean? The Great Dragon:Your greatgrandfather was a fish! Merlin: Wait, what! That has nothing to with the secene here? Um...hello? What's his line again? I have no idea where that came from. The Great Dragon: Now I remember. Your destiny.....your destiny......Line? Somebody from the background: "Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown. And when he does magic can be returned to the relm. Only then will I be free" The Great Dragon: Thank you. Okay. Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown. And when he does magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free" Merlin:So thats all you cared about? I thought we were besties! The Great Dragon: What? Merlin:Yeah you know. Close buds. Tight. The Great Dragon: He has got me confused. What is he saying? I mean I don't know anything here. What are my lines? While The Great Dragon is trying to sort things out, Merlin is dancing where he stands and be-boxing. Somebody in the background:What is he doing? Gwen:Hello Merlin! I see your dancing. Well let's all dance! Somebody in the background: Where did she come from? Everybody else in the kingdom:Hey! Let's have a party! So all of Camolot danced the night away and everybody was happy....well maybe not Uther. "MERLIN! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOWN HERE!?!?!?!" The end! | ||
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| Username | loneronline | ||
| Scene/Episode | Season Two | ||
| Crossover with | Twilight | ||
| Script | Narrator: And Will they discover Merlins Secret? <Shows Morgana and Merlin in a forest> Morgana: I know what you are. Merlin: Say it ... out ... Loud...! Morgana: You're a ... a leprechaun! <Awkward pause> Merlin: I'm ... I'm a WHAT? Morgana: A leprechaun. Merlin: Seriously? You think I'm a leprechaun? What in the name of Camelot would make you think that?! Morgana: Well ... you're pasty and you sometimes speak with an Irish accent. Merlin: Thats because I'm played by Colin Morgan you dolt! I'm a freaking WIZARD for crying out loud. Duh! Morgana: Oh. Oh yes. I was ... That was my second guess. | ||
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| Username | panthereye24 | ||
| Scene/Episode | Set somewhere in 'The Once And Future Queen' | ||
| Crossover with | A dream I had recently... I honestly dreamt this whole thing up! | ||
| Script | [Arthur and Merlin are at Gwen's house] Arthur: So... Gwen's nice. (jokingly) Shame she's with you. Merlin: Oh, I'm not with Gwen. Arthur: Really? Merlin: Yeah. I'm only her part-time lover. Arthur: ... Gwen: (enters, brushing past Merlin while smiling coyly) Why, hello Merlin! How's my favourite lover today? Arthur: ... Merlin: (shrugs) I'm fine. Gwen: Wanna make out? Merlin: Sure. Arthur: ... | ||
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| Username | ShutupEccles | ||
| Scene/Episode | S1 - 13 | ||
| Crossover with | An observation made by Youngest Eccles whilst watching Le Mort d'Arthur | ||
| Script | Merlin & Arthur in cave facing Questing Beast. Arthur rolling on floor after being attacked. Merlin brandishes a torch in the creature's face and... M: come and have a go beast, if you think you're hard enough. QB: growl, roar, thrash M [blows out torch to reveal perfectly toasted mega-marshmallow. takes a bite and says with mouth full]: ONE chubby bunny! QB [bites marshmallow, jaws gooey, words barely distinguishable]: two chubby bunny M: [repeats action]: THREE chubby bunny! QB [bites off remaining marshmallow. Jaws completely locked together, claws at face groaning] M: Ha! I win. [fatally stabs QB in chest with handle of torch and does victory dance] Oops, forgot about Arthur. A [as Merlin lifts him up]: you are such a girl! | ||
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| Username | KingUthersQueen | ||
| Scene/Episode | Fires of Irdasholas | ||
| Crossover with | Mostly it's my own, but it's inspired by Anthony Head being in Rocky Horror Picture Show | ||
| Script | Merlin: We can dress him up as a woman... Arthur: If I can keep from vomiting long enough to get through it Merlin: I'll get some clothes *a few minutes later* Arthur: What are you doing now? Merlin: Makeup. You want him to be convincing, don't you? *puts lipstick, blush and some eyeshadow on uther* I found a wig too Arthur: I don't even want to know where it came from Merlin: I swear, I'm not dressing up like that behind your back! Arthur: Whatever, let's just get going *skip to the wake up scene* *Uther stands up, then falls down becuase he's wearing heels* *the guards are dying laughing* Uther: ARTHUR! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS??? I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION IMMEDIATELY! Merlin: It was a disguise...so no one would recognize you and kill you while you slept...and actually, I must say you look quite fetching, sire... Arthur: I don't...I'm going to need to cleanse my mind somehow...not that I'm saying you're ugly, father... *Uther tries to get up, then falls again. He gets up and kicks the shoes off* *Gwen and Gaius get into the room and start laughing hysterically* Uther: SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! Gaius: It's just so amusing...and you do look quite lovely, sire Uther: ANY PERSON WHO BREATHES A WORD OF THIS OUTSIDE THIS ROOM WILL DIE!!! | ||
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| Username | _ladyluck | ||
| Scene/Episode | The Mark of Nimueh | ||
| Crossover with | Twilight | ||
| Script | (Morgana gasps in fear at random spooky noise) Arthur: You should stay here. Morgana: I'm coming with you. Arthur: No! Morgana: Scared I'll show you up? Arthur: Father will have us both in chains if you are put in danger! Morgana: It's a good thing he doesn't know about it then. Arthur: I'm telling you, Morgana, you need to turn back. You could get hurt. Morgana: I'm not scared of you... Arthur: (turns round with evil grin) You really shouldn't have said that... (Arthur picks Morgana up on his back and disappears into the cave a la Edward Cullen. Merlin is left alone.) Merlin: Guys...? Mind in the game here? | ||
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| Username | sad821 | ||
| Scene/Episode | really anywhere before morgana runs off | ||
| Crossover with | Family guy | ||
| Script | Arthur: Merlin has been so annoying lately,I don't know what to do. Morgana: He is your servant. Arthur: I know but does he really have to wash my socks every day twice a day? And make me little triangle sandwiches to take with me hunting? And make me stop in the middle of the street to polish my shoes? Morgana: I'm sure your just over reacting. Arthur: I'm not trust me, shhh here he comes, Do whatever it is women do. *Morgana rolls her eyes and Arthur pretends to be very interested in a book* Merlin: Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie, Buddy Buddy Budddy, Buddy, Buddy, Pal, Pal, Pal, Pal, Sire, Sire, Sire, Sire, Prince, Prince, Prince, Prince, Prat, Prat, Prat, Part, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie, Buddy, Buddy,Buddy Buddy, Buddy, Pal, Pal, Pal, Pal, Sire, Sire, Sire, Sire, Prince, Prince,Prince, Prince, Prat, Prat, Prat, Prat, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, Pal, Pal, Pal, Pal, Prince, Prince, Prince, Prince, Prat, Prat, Prat- Arthur: WHAT?! Merlin: Hi *giggles and runs out of room* | ||
Mary Hits On Merlin
| Username | Lightsight463 |
| Scene/Episode | S3 ep4 Gwaine; the scene with Arthur and Merlin in the tavern when Mary comes and takes their order then hits on Merlin |
| Crossover with | Nothing, this would happen if I were Mary though :) |
| Script | (Merlin and Arthur walk into the tavern, sit down at a table and a barmaid comes and clears it) Mary: "Good afternoon! What will it be?" (Arthur looks away) Arthur: "Uhhh," Mary: "Hmmmmm, you're a handsome fellow!" (Arthur looks back at Mary) Arthur: "Well, you wouldn't be the first to say it." Mary: "Pffffffftt! Not you, Prince Prattypants! I was talking about tall, dark and scrumptious over here." (Merlin blushes and looks very creeped out) |
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Lightsight463 |
Latest page update: made by Lightsight463
, Mar 20 2011, 1:04 PM EDT
(about this update
About This Update
Edited by Lightsight463
118 words added view changes - complete history) |
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Keyword tags:
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More Info: links to this page
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| MerlinAddict | wow | 1 | Nov 29 2010, 12:53 PM EST by microbat | ||
| xMerlinx | funny! | 2 | Mar 9 2010, 7:59 PM EST by xMerlinx | ||
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