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Discussion: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot....

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CorneliusSigan	Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 1:26 PM EDT Mock the week have'nt done one yet so why don't we? If you've got any funny lines about merlin you can think of, post them here! :) Post reply 5 out of 5 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you? Keyword tags: None
green_storm	1. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 1:27 PM EDT 'I am King Uther, Ruler of Camelot - all my subjects must kneel before me.. it makes me feel taller.' 'Merlin, there's a fly in my stew' 'Yes, sire. We ran out of rats' Merlin was confused when he saw a sticker on the back of Arthur's horse saying, 'How am I riding?' 'I am the new Lord of Camelot... the lord of the dance!' Post reply 11 out of 11 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	2. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 1:33 PM EDT \| Post edited: Sep 28 2009, 6:18 PM EDT Merlin: Oy! Arthur! Muck out my stables! Arthur: Yes Sire. Post reply 14 out of 16 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
green_storm	3. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 2:35 PM EDT ‘Arthur, Arthur, the water’s turned to sand!’ ‘Relax Merlin; you’re standing in the sandpit!’ ‘Why do they call him Lancelot… he only got ONE gryphon, surely it should be Lanceabit’ ‘Merlin, what do you wear that neck scarf?’ ‘To hide all Arthur’s love bites.’ ‘You are but one side of a coin.’ ‘Heads or Tails?’ ‘No no, metaphorically.’ ‘So, how much money are we talking here?’ ‘Merlin, why do you have so many bumps on your head?’ ‘Well Gaius, It’s not my fault I live a stones throw from Arthur.’ Post reply 12 out of 15 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
flyingmerlin	4. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 5:37 PM EDT \| Post edited: Sep 28 2009, 5:46 PM EDT King Uther: "Damn that witch is hot!" The Dragon (after Merlin has come up to him for help): "That's actually quite easy. Just stab the area marked 'X' with a lance. That should do the trick. No, don't thank me, I'm always glad to help." Arthur: "I'm sorry, I treat you like crap all the time, Merlin. Here, come and have a biscuit... That's a good boy!" Morgana (to Gwen): " Hey *****, come here and fix my hair!" Arthur: "A tournament? Dad, can't I just stay in and watch the jester?" Merlin: "Gaius, do you think I'm ever going to find a girlfriend?" Gauis: "Not very likely, my boy. Have you seen your haircut?!" King Uther (to the Dragon): "You're STILL down here?" Merlin (to the Dragon): "Just out of curiosity: Where do go when you fly from that rock." Dragon: "To that crack up there, where the lovely lizard lady lives." Post reply 9 out of 9 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	5. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 28 2009, 6:07 PM EDT Merlin: Just wondering, Sire, have you ever kissed a girl? Arthur: Yes, Merlin, but even my fantastic advice is'nt going to help you get a half-decent haircut, is it? Anyway, you probably would'nt know where to kiss! Merlin: Will You show me? Arthur: Oh come on Merlin, the barber's is just down the main street, are you going to tell me that you are blind as well as having no idea about.....oh i give up! Post reply 12 out of 12 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
green_storm	6. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 29 2009, 4:07 PM EDT "Arthur: "I'm sorry, I treat you like crap all the time, Merlin. Here, come and have a biscuit... That's a good boy!" " Flying Melrin - you are a genius! The one I quoted is my favourite - but i like them all! And I love Sigan's one about Arthur mucking out Merlin's stables!!!! Post reply Do you find this valuable?
flyingmerlin	7. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 29 2009, 9:05 PM EDT Uther: "I'm too sexy for my crown, too sexy for my crown..." Anybody: "Guys, can we do this? Wouldn't that be screwing with historical facts and the Arthurian legend?" Merlin: "Oh, no way I'm going down to that dragon again. All these stairs and it's dark and icky, and I have to take a torch and go past that creepy guy who wants me to come home with him to see his mushroom collection..." Gaius (to Uther): "Yes, your son is dead. No, there is absolutly no way he will recover. He is REALLY dead. You don't recover from that." Morgana: "I dreamt last night I was at this ball, and there was this handsome young knight and he winked and smiled at me..." Gaius: "Sign of doom. Definitly." Uther: "Did I ever tell you the story about how I made a deal with a witch to make your mother pregnant and nine month later you were born?" Arthur: "No, father." Uther: "Well, there was this really hot witch, you see..." Morgana: "Oh, Arthur, you are so smart and handsome, and you always make me laugh..." (Man, I could go on about this stuff all day!) Post reply 6 out of 7 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	8. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 11:43 AM EDT \| Post edited: Sep 30 2009, 6:23 PM EDT "(Man, I could go on about this stuff all day!)" Well, i don't mind! :) Uther: Wow, that witch is hot! Gaius: Well, yes sire, she has been burning for about 5 minutes... Merlin: Will that young boy, one day, really kill arthur? The Great Dragon: Well, the prince may have hope yet, after all, the BBC do like to be "different".. Gaius: You must reliase, that your wife is a troll, sire. Uther: Look, Gaius, just because she's a bit behind on table manners... Merlin: Is there any reason why you want to be free, apart from the obvious? The Great Dragon: Yes, it's just that I have'nt been able to date a lady dragon for 20 years. NO, JUST THE OBVIOUS! Gaius: Legend has it that one day the whole of Albion will be ruled by a glass-eyed monster that.... what does this mean? Recession? 2009? END OF THE WORLD!? Uther (Shortly after confronting the wraith): Stayin' alive. Stayin' alive! Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin' alive!!!! Post reply 10 out of 10 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
KatieMcGrath	9. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 12:51 PM EDT \| Post edited: Oct 1 2009, 12:38 PM EDT here it is folks!!!! Morgana: 'you have blood on your hands uther pendragon, blood that will never wash off' Uther: 'Morgana, I thought we had been through this already it's only ink i have been dying my robes!!!' Post reply 8 out of 8 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
KatieMcGrath	10. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 12:53 PM EDT \| Post edited: Oct 1 2009, 12:37 PM EDT God this thread is funny i could read it all day!!! Post reply 6 out of 7 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	11. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 1:09 PM EDT Merlin: Is it Ok if i can wash my face sire, just mucked out your stables, you see. Arthur: Fine, but hurry up, the feast begins in an hour! Merlin: Thank you sire (Merlin hurrys off to the corner of arthur's room, and washes his face, soon returning at arthur's side, with a frown on his face. Arthur: Whats wrong, Merlin, realised that you smell anyway? Merlin: No it's just this water, it's- Arthur: MERLIN, YOU'VE JUST WASHED YOUR FACE IN MY CHAMBER POT!! Post reply 11 out of 11 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
flyingmerlin	12. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 1:26 PM EDT \| Post edited: Sep 30 2009, 1:29 PM EDT Gaius: "He was poisoned with an extremlly rare plant. Fortunatly, I restocked my shelves to contain the remedies to all rare poisons and uncommon illnesses. Unfortunatly, it means, that from now on I won't be able to cure a headcold." Merlin: "I've got a confession to make. I am a warlock." Arthur: "Dude, that's awesome! Let's go and rain frogs on the peasants!" Gwen: "No, Morgana won't be in this episode either. It's that time of the month..." Uther: "Gaius, do you suppose that that new servant with the eyepatch and the scar on his cheek, who is always lurking in the shadows might be up to something?" Gaius: "Not very likely, sire." Arthur:"Merlin, help me: I've forgotten how to use a sword!" Merlin: "And then you come to ME for help?!" Post reply 6 out of 7 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
green_storm	13. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 2:56 PM EDT Gaius: I fear it to be rare and powerful magic. Merlin: When is it not 'rare and powerful magic' - can't i have something easy like a bunny with devil horns - i mean really! Morgana: Gaius! I had another dream... Uther was trapped in a box... They call it ' Buffy the vampire slayer!' Merlin: Great Dragon - what should i do? Dragon: What the hell are you asking me for? I'm a lizard with wings do you really think i have any understanding of polotics! Gaius: We've found the sorceror sire... turns out he fell down the back of the sofa. Merlin: is there anything i can get you sire? Arthur: yeah, something from starbucks, a copy of the sun and a couple of kitkats Nimueh: Hmm... dirt monsters didn't work, poisoning them didn't do the trick, the spider cave clearly wasn't well thought out., and undead knights was a waste of time.... I guess i could just stab him and have it over with Merlin: I used to have trouble removing dirty, greasy, evil sorcerors, but not with new cilit bang! Post reply 5 out of 5 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	14. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 3:05 PM EDT Uther: Gaius, we must double our efforts against sorcery. Gaius: Sire, don't be too modest, you've just slept with a troll, i think that deserves a bit more than "effort". Merlin: Ow! Arthur! That hurt! Arthur: Merlin, it's not a pillow fight, well actually, it is. Uther: There is no space for sorcery in my kingdom!! Gaius: I find that hard to believe, sire, Camelot seems to be big enough for you and your ego. Uther: You can have what you came for: The father, not the son. Black Knight: No, Anthony, I came to give you your new lines. Post reply 8 out of 8 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
Lady_Valerie	15. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Sep 30 2009, 5:46 PM EDT \| Post edited: Sep 30 2009, 5:59 PM EDT Uther to the Great Dragon: "My but you've grown!" Arthur: I outlined a simple plan, what went wrong? Merlin: The only thing simple about it was the mind it came from. Arthur, using finger signs: You go left & I'll go right Merlin, using words: Your left or my left? Merlin to the Great Dragon: How do you know so much? Great Dragon to Merlin: I don't know anything. I've just been messing with you! Arthur to Merlin: Surely you're not a sorcerer? Merlin to Arthur: Of course I am, and don't call me Shirley. Arthur to Merlin: How did Nimueh die? Merlin to Arthur: She started playing drums for Spinal Tap. Arthur to Merlin: Eh? Merlin to Arthur: She spontaneously combusted. Post reply 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
CorneliusSigan	16. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Oct 2 2009, 10:19 AM EDT \| Post edited: Oct 2 2009, 12:00 PM EDT Gaius: What was this dream about? Morgana: A Bird Gaius: What kind of bird? Morgana: A raven Gaius: Oh, thats good, it means you will happily marry and have two children. (under his breath) oh ****! Post reply 8 out of 9 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
supermerlinfan	17. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Oct 2 2009, 2:20 PM EDT \| Post edited: Oct 2 2009, 2:20 PM EDT Arthur: Merlin there is somthing on my spoon Merlin: oh sorry.... now its clean Arthur: Merlin i meant you should get my another spoon, not lick it off! Merlin: Why didn't you just say that idiot? Post reply 6 out of 6 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
supermerlinfan	18. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Oct 2 2009, 3:01 PM EDT \| Post edited: Oct 2 2009, 3:01 PM EDT Arthur: Merlin!... what are you doing in my bed? Merlin: You said to my that it was uncomfortable, and ask me to check it out, and its a really good bed. (jumping a little in it) Shall we exchange beds? Arthur: No, and can you get out of my room now! ( hehe this is really funny ) Post reply 4 out of 5 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?
Merlin4ever	19. RE: Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely things to hear in Camelot.... Oct 2 2009, 4:19 PM EDT \| Post edited: Jun 12 2010, 12:14 PM EDT Oh have you seen Gauis needs a magnifing glass to look at a coin whats he like when he goes shopping, Store clerck:"thats 2 pounds 50 please" Gaius examining coins with a magnifying glass:"hmm yes definetly a 2 pound and this hmmm tricky yes thats a 50. Post reply 2 out of 4 found this valuable. Do you find this valuable? Do you?

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